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^^Not Worth a ContinentaL 

A COMEDY OF THE REVOLUTION, 
In Two Acts. 

BY 

Alice Wight Alden. 



ff 



Copyright, 1897, 
By Atjce Wight Alden. 






'^NOT WORTH A CONTINENTAL," 



Place : A country house near New York. 
Time: The Autumn of 1776. 



CHARACTERS. 

Mistress Underwood. 

Doi,i,Y, her daughter. 

Kitty Forsyth, Dolly's friend. 

Temperance, a7i old family servant. 

Francis Pennington, a Continental officer, engaged to Dolly. 

Henry Wynn, a young patriot, in love with Kitty. 

Mr. Farquhar, a Tory, travelling upon secret business. 



Scene : A sitting-room with Colonial furniture, tall clock, old china 
and family portraits. Doors right and left, window and door at back, 
fireplace with mirror over mantel right, sofa near centre back, table 
chairs, spinning-wheel or embroidery frame. 

Time of representation, fifty minutes. 



** Not Worth a Continental." 



ACT I. 

Temperance. ( Enters B. zvith brush ajid duster, and with many 
groans gets down on her knees to brush the hearth.) I never 
thought it would come to my old bones to get down on the 
hearth. Oh, that saucy chit Sally ! I would have made 
her ears tingle had not Mi.stress been there ! She to say 
that her mother would not allow her to stay in a disaffected 
household in these troublous times ! {Gets 7ip.) They 
' would sing another tune, I warrant me, if the red-coats 
were to march away. Then they would be glad enough to 
■ creep back under our roof, and shout, ' ' Hurrah for the 
Continental Congress!" — before our soldiers come back 
with Mr. Francis Pennington at the head of his company. 
{Rubbi7ig table vigorously.) Look at that scratch on Mis- 
tress's fine card-table that came from England ! Don't I 
know how it came there ! I mind well the day when that 
rantipole Colonel called me to bring him some mulled ale, 
and I saw him with his spurred heels upon the table. 'Twas 
in my heart to throw the can of ale at his head, but that Mis- 
tress had bidden me be civil to the red-coats. {As she is 
dusting she drops a little mirror on the floor and groans dis- 
mally. ) 

Dolly. {Enters B. with her hands full of autumn leaves ayid 
flowers.') What's the matter, Tempy ? 

Tempy. It's no laughing matter. Mistress Dolly — here is your 
little mirror in pieces. That means bad luck before mid- 
night this day. 

Dolly. {Laughijig.) Or before midnight some other day. I 
have little faith in your omens, Tempy. {Arrajigesflowers 
in vase.) 

Tempy. {Earnestly.) Indeed and indeed, Mistress Dolly, you 
should not scoff at the signs. Mind you not how I stumbled 
with my left foot last Wednesday sennight, and that very 
day 'Squire Martin's barn burned to the ground, and 



Dolly. Yes ; but, Tempy, I thought that sign meant bad luck 
to the one who makes it. Now how could the burning of 
'Squire Martin's barn do aught of harm to you ? 

Tempy. Harm to me, Mistress Dolly ! Why plain enough. 
Did not the men with the fire-buckets run by the house 
making a great shout, and did not I run out to see the cause 
of the stir, and did not my spice-cake burn in my oven, 
and did not I try to save it and scorch a great hole in my 
new print apron ? I tell you. Mistress Dolly, it is not safe 
to fly in the face of Providence ! 

Dolly. I am afraid you are upset because Sally left us this 
morning. 

Tempy. The little hussy ! I know what she is doing this 
minute, chattering nonsense over the fence with those worth- 
less red-coats. Don' 1 1 wish she may get one for a husband ! 

Dolly. {^Laughing.') That would indeed be a punishment. 
{Puts vase on mantel a7id begins to d^ist.) Let me help you. 

Tempy. Now, Mistress Dolly, you let that alone. I am not 
yet so old and feeble that you need to take my work out of 
my hands. If I do it not to your liking, you can send me 
away. 

Dolly. Well, well, Tempy, be not cross with me. You know 
well we could not live in comfort without you. ( 7enipy, 
pacified, places ivheel for her.) Indeed, it seems almost 
wrong that we should live in so much comfort when our 
Army suffers such privations. But what can we do ? 

Tempy. Sure, Mistress Dolly, we keep scarce a thing to eat 
in the house when it is possible to send it to our men, and 
you and Mistress are ever busy with your spinning and 
knitting. 

Dolly. 'Tis the least we women can do when our brave 
soldiers are fighting for our country. (Spz?is.) 

Tempy. {Brushes up pieces of glass, shaking her head and 
muttering.) 'Tis a bad sign, a very bad sign. Some mis- 
fortune is sure coming upon us. 

Dolly. Sometimes yoursigns fail, Tempy. Do you remember 
last spring when you said your right hand itched and that 
meant company ? Well, tlae guests came not, neither that 
day nor the next, nor the next, nor for many days. 

Tempy. {Looks puzzled and goes to work again vigorously, S7id- 
denly her face brightens.) But when they did come, Mi.s- 
tress Dolly, what guests they were ! A lot of swearing, 
drinking, gobbling red-coats, tracking dirt over my clean 
floors, and leaving their rubbish all about the house, and 
driving our own men away from our own stable. No sign 
could be bad enough for them ! 



Dolly. {^Sighing.) Truly, Terapy, they were unwelcome 
guests. {Pause.') But another time you put on your 
mantle wrong side out, when you were getting ready for 
church, and would not change it for fear of changing good 
luck into bad. Do you not remember how the small boys 
jeered at you for the yellow patches in the green lining, and 
how you fled from them in such haste that you fell down 
the steps and tore your gown and hurt yourself? Would 
it not have been better to have changed your mantle ? 

Tempy. { Very earnestly.) Mistress Dolly, if I had changed 
that mantle to the right side out I would have broken all 
my bones when I fell. 

Dolly. {Langhimg.) I see you are hopeless, Tempy. 

Tempy. Don't you laugh at me until the day is over. Mistress 
Dolly. Remember, this is your mirror. {Holding up 
pieces. ) 

Dolly. You must not be gloomy to-daj', for I am too happy. 
What do you think is coming to pass this evening ? 

Tempy. {Dolefully .) Goodness only knows, Mistress Dolly. 

Dolly. Nonsense, Tempy ! Be cheerful. I have a secret to 
tell you, but I care not to tell my good news to such a dismal 
face. What would you say to seeing Mr. Pennington here ? 

Tempy. Mr. Francis coming ! Ah, it is not for nothing that 
I heard the cock crow on the doorstep this morning, and 
have dropped my dish-cloth so many times to-day ! {Com- 
ing close?- and "whispering.') Scorn not the signs. Mistress 
Dolly, remember that wdiSyour mirror. 

{The door opens B. and Kitty rims in waving a letter, Dolly 
rises; Temi)y moves ivheel and goes out B.) 

Kitty. Such news, Dolly dear ! Here is a letter from Henry 
Wynn, and he says he will be here to-night. 

Dolly. Henry Wynn coming here ! I thought him shut up 
in prison by the British on suspicion of treasonable prac- 
tices. Did you not tell me so ? 

Kitty. 'Twas so he wrote me not long since, but now it seems 
that they have released him. 

DoLLY^ {Laiighing.) Truly I think his last journey hither 
could not do serious harm to the King's cause, for you, 
Kitty, seem not a very dangerous foe to the British. 

Kitty. 'Tis not for want of will, Dolly. But listen to his 
letter. {Reads :) 

"Sweet Mistress Kitty, this hurried scrawl is to inform 
you that I expect to be in your neighborhood right soon, 
and shall take what opportunity offers to see you. So be 
warned, let me not find you trifling with fresh adorers, for 
the new loves must be off when the old one returns" — 



6 

Vastly pretty, upon my word? Ah, Master Henry, you 
shall pay for this! — "I leave town disguised as a loyal 
servant of King George, secretary to a Tory gentleman 
travelling secretly upon the King's business. We lie 
Friday night at Mistress Underwood's, and I depend upon 
Mistress Dolly to get me speech with you. Thine more 
truly than mine own, Henry Wynn." 
DoLivY. Friday ! Does he say Friday ? 

Kitty. Yes, to-night. The letter has been long in the road. 
Dolly. Oh, Kitty, what shall I do? Francis is coming here 

to see me to-night. 
Kitty. Captain Pennington here ! A Continental officer 

within the lines of the enemy ! 
Dolly. {Sitting at tabic.) But we have not seen each other 

for so long ! 
Kitty. Nearly five months ! And this is love ! It makes 

five months seem an eternity and induces a man to risk his 

life ! Deliver me from love ! 
Dolly. Kitty, you pretend to be hardhearted, but you are 

not, really. Suppose Henry's life were in danger ? 
Kitty. Mr. Wynn's heart will never lead him out of the safe 

and comfortable path of flirting with the nearest pretty 

maid. 
Dolly. You do him inj ustice. Francis has a high opinion of 

him. 
Kitty. Oh, he has his virtues. But tell me, Dolly, how 

comes Captain Pennington here? Has he not been in 

Philadelphia in attendance upon the Congress ? 
Dolly. He is sent upon business of importance to the camp 

across the river. I had this billet yesterday by the hand 

of an old fisherman. The neighborhood being quiet, he 

writes he will venture upon a visit. 
Kitty. True, the soldiers are not very near, and seldom come 

on this side the village. 
DoLLY\ But to-night there will be an enemy in the house. 
Kitty. You must send at once to warn Captain Pennington. 
Dolly. I know not the road he will come, and 'twould but 

increase the risk of betrayal to make an unwonted stir 

about the place. 
Kitty. Then what can we do? 
Dolly. Francis will not come to the house until after dark. 

If these men from New York have not arrived he will be 

warned in time, and can return with all speed. 
Kitty. But if they are in the house when he comes ? 
Dolly. Some one must watch at the pasture gate and prevent 

his entrance. He will come that way. 



Kitty. You will see him, Dolly ? 

Dolly. Yes, I will see him — I must see him. {Mrs. Under^ 
wood enters R. with a letter in her hand. Dolly aside to 
Kitty?) Not a word of this to my mother. 

Mistress Underwood. Good evening, Kitty dear. {Kitty 
curtsies, Dolly places chair.) Dolly, hear this letter which 
I have just received by the hand of a British soldier. 

Dolly. (Starti?i£-.) A soldier ? Oh, Kitty ! 

Mrs. Underwood. {Reads:) "Mistress Underwood, I and 
my secretary, with two servants, will do you the honor of 
lodging with you this night, the inn in your village being 
occupied by our troops to such an extent that a gentleman 
can not obtain entertainment therein. I purpose arriving 
about seven of the clock, and beg that you will make your 
preparations accordingly. G. Farquhar." 

Kitty. Dear Mistress Underwood, why have they chosen you 
to be thus afflicted ? 

Mrs. Underwood. Once last spring the Colonel and other 
officers of one of the neigboring regiments lodged with us 
when the inn was full. They forced their company upon 
us ; we desired it not. 

Kitty. They paid for it, did they not ? 

MisTREvSS Underwood. Paid for it ! Yes, they made prom- 
ises of a sufficient sum, but on their departure withheld it, 
in payment for a horse which they left on our hands. It 
was sick forsooth, it had been over- fed with our oats, 

Kitty. Mistress Underwood, here is a letter I have received 
from Mr. Henry Wynn. {Giving letter.') I pray you 
excuse the personal matters therein — he is but a foolish 
youth. 

( While Mist? ess Underwood reads, the girls speak apart.) 

Dolly. Tarry with me to-night, will you not, Kitty ? Two 
heads are better than one in this strait. 

Kitty. Gladly, dearest Dolly— to confess the truth I came 
with that intent, and have left my small belongings in your 
room. 

Dolly. 'Tis for pure friendship, is it not, Kitty ? And has 
nothing to do with Mr. Henry Wynn's presence in the 
house ? ( Tempy enters hurriedly L.) 

Tempy. Please you, Mistress, there be two gentlemen dis- 
mounting at the door. 

Mrs. Underwood. They are on the King's business, Tem- 
perance, and will lodge with us to-night. Make ready the 
guest-room for the older gentleman, and put his secretary 
"in the little chamber above stairs. {Gives her a bunch of 
keys. ) 



DoivLY. Be civil to their servants, Tempy, and keep them in a 
pleasant humour. Fly not at them with your rolling-pin 
to keep them out of your kitchen, as you served the Colo- 
nel's man. 

Kitty. And, dear Tempy, if you imagine one of these King's 
gentlemen to be Mr. Henry Wynn, say nothing if you love 
me. 

Tempy. {Goes oiifL,. muttering.) I like not these King's men, 
whether they wear red coats or black coats. 

Mistress Underwood. It is scarcely necessary to say to 
patriotic gentlewomen that this person is to be treated with 
distant courtesy while under our roof. Kitty, try to re- 
member that an enemy is not a suitable subject upon whom 
to practice your facinations. 

{Tempy enters ly. ushering in Farquhar, followed by 
Henry. Mrs. Underzuood and the girls curtsy, the 
gentlemen boiv lozv, Farquhar in such an exaggerated way 
that Henry has time to kiss his hand to Kitty before Farqu- 
har raises his head.) 

Farquhar. Mistress Underwood, and you, fair Mistress 
Dolly, I have heard to-da)' from my friend Colonel Jenkins 
of your hospitality, and I am pleased to have the opportu- 
nity of enjoying its benefits in my own person. 

Mrs. Underwood. We crave not your company, sir, but 
since you are here, you shall have of our best. 

Farquhar. Let me hope, Madam, that that " best " includes 
the best of all, the company of yourself {bows), and of your 
fair daughter {bows), and of her sprightly friend {turni?ig 
to bow to Kitty, catches her kissing her hand to Henry). 

Mrs. Underwood. Sir, it is not yet necessary for us to break 
bread with the oppressors of our country. You shall be 
served when you so desire, but in your own apartment. 

Farquhar. You are cruel. Madam. In the presence of 
Beauty, War and Politics are forgot. Let me hope that 
when I have removed the stains of travel and am suitably 
apparelled, I may have the honor I covet. {Bows to each 
and leaves the room L- follozved by Tempy, who during the 
preceding dialogue has shown her dislike by face and gesture. 
Dolly gives her arm to her mother and they go out B. 
He?iry and Kitty left alone, run toward each other, but before 
they meet, Farquhar reappears at the door L.) 

Farquhar. Mr. Brown, I have need of your services. Pray 
attend me. {Henry L- and Kitty B. go out aiid bang the 
doors. Fa7\2'^ihar remains.) 

Farquhar. {Alone, looking abojit the room.) Truly this is 
better than the village inn, where I should have poorly 



9 

cooked food and an indiiferent bed ; and for company this 
evening the society of two or three of our officers who have 
served so long on this side the ocean that their manners 
are become ahnost provincial. What associates for one 
who has his coats and his conversation from London, 
although having the misfortune to be born in the Colonies ! 
{Looks at portraits.) Evidently a genteel family, although 
the present representatives are somewhat rustic. What a 
diversion the society of a man of fashion will be to them ! 
{Enter Teiupy L. She zvatches Farquhar closely as he 
examines ornaments, etc., and she puts a number of small 
articles in her pocket. He tiinis and sees her.") 

Farouhar. I need nothing at present. You may serve sup- 
per as soon as it is prepared. ( Turns azaay.) 

Tempy. This is my Mistress's room. 

Farouhar. Indeed ! You may serve my supper at this table. 
{Sitting at table.) 

Tempy. Not one bite of supper do you get in this room ! It 
is bad enough for my poor Mistress to have you in the 
house, let alone having you all over it. Your supper will 
be served in half an hour in that room. {Points off stage, L-) 

Farouhar. {Rising slowly.) On second thoughts, 'twill be 
more convenient to eat within my own apartment. (Goes 
out L. with dignity, while Tempy shakes her fist behind 
him. Left alone, she Piits the room in order, replacing 
the things she had taken, scolding vehemently to herself and 
occasio7ially saying aloud such luords as) — Impudence ! — 
Wretch ! — INIiserable spy ! —i7ie to serve his supper ! — 
hope it may choke him ! — {pushes her spectacles up on her 
forehead in her excitement and after azvhile begi^is to look for 
them. Dolly enters B. when she is looki?ig wider the sofa.) 

Dolly. Tempy — why Tempy, what are you doing ? 

Tempy. {On her knees.) Looking for m}^ spectacles. 

Dolly. Why, there they are. 

Tempy. {Rising stiffly.) Mistress Dolly, I am that upset by 
all this worry that I am like to lose my head. {Groans.) 
What did I tell you about misfortune ? 

Dolly. Never mind that now. We have enough to think 
about. I want you to find Mr. Wynn and tell him pri- 
vately to come in here. 

Tempy. He is in there with that dressed-up monkey. 

Dolly. You can tell him when you go in to lay the table. 

Tempy. Me wait on them ? 

Dolly. There is no one else who can speak to Mr. Wynn, and 
we must see him to tell him about Captain Pennington. 

Tempy. Very well, Mistress Dolly, I will tell him Mistress 
Kitty Forsyth wants to speak with him. {Goes out L,.) 



10 

Dolly. Be careful, Tempy. Now 'tis ray first watch. {Goes 
out R.) {Eyiter Kitty B., who goes to 7nirror, takes ojf bo7i- 
net, etc. Henry enters, ly. a7id Kitty kisses her ha^id to him 
in the mirror.^ 

Henry. At last, dearest Kitty, I have escaped the exactions 
of that popinjay, and can follow whither my heart has long 
since flown. {Kisses her hand.) 

Kitty. {Withdrawing her hand.) Popinjay, indeed ! I con- 
sider Mr. Farquhar a very personable man. 

Henry. Now Kitty, do you think it fair, when I have carried 
your image in my heart for all these months, for your first 
words to me to be a compliment to some other man ? 

Kitty. My image ! I am afraid your heart is like a mirror, 
and reflects the image of the nearest. 

Henry. I swear to you, Kitty, by your own bright eyes and 
rosy lips, that no other 

Kitty. Aha, Master Henry, that " bright eyes and rosy lips " 
comes too trippingly from your tongue to be the inspiration 
of the moment ! Confess now, you have practised that 
pretty speech upon the susceptible maidens of New York ? 

Henry. {Looks guilty.) And you, Kitty, upon what wretched 
swains have you practised your tortures, to keep your 
tongue whetted to such a point for me ? 

Kitty. I would have you know, Mr. Wynn, that I have met 
several very agreeable gentlemen in the past few months, 
and I have heard no such words as " tortures " and "sharp 
tongues." {Sits.) 

Henry. I will warrant me you have not ! But they will 
come in time, when your agreeable friends know you as 
well as I do. But come, Kitty, a truce to this skirmishing. 
Think you that my time is short and my absence long, and 
say you are a little glad to see me. 

Kitty. {Turning aivay.) A good patriot is ever a welcome 
sight in these evil days, although travelling in bad company. 

Henry. So the personable Mr. Farquhar is bad company ! I 
thank you, Kitty ! Had you not my letter about this 
journey ? 

Kitty. I had — and that reminds me that I must tell you 
about dear Dolly and Mr. Pennington. 

{Henry takes a chair near her, she moves away and then 
to so/a.) 

Henry. Kitty, I positively will not be able to hear one word 
if you sit so far awa}^ from me. 

Kitty. Very well then ! Sit where you please, if you will 
conduct yourself in a seemly manner. {He?iry sits on ex- 
treme end of sofa.) 



11 

Kitty. Henry, you know Mr. Pennington is betrothed to 

Dolly, and he is coming here to-night to see her. 
Henry. Coming here to-night ! What rashness ! 
Kitty. But they have not seen each other for a long time, 

nearly five months. 
Henry. Would you think that a long time if you were 

engaged to a man ? 
Kitty. I might — if he were very agreeable. But no one 

would run that risk to see me. 
Henry. Kitty, you know well there is one who would do 

anything for your favor. 

Kitty. I know one who talks of my sharp tongue 

Henry. It could be sweet if it chose. 
Kitty. And other people's rosy lips- — — 

^y^By this time Henry is not at the end of the sofa, hct as 

the obvious reply to this last remark occurs to hiift, the doors 

open and Farquhar L. and Tenipy R. enter from differeyit 

sides. ) 

CURTAIN. 



12 



ACT II. 

[Same scene, two houis later. Enter Mrs. Underzvood 
and Dolly. ^ 

Doi^LY. Such presumption ! Does this man think himself ir- 
resistible — does he not see how distasteful are his compli- 
ments and attentions ? I could scarce keep my temper at 
his insolence. 

Mrs. Underwood. {Sitting and taking her knitting.^ You 
show your feeling too plainly, my daughter. Some cour- 
tesy is surely due to one under our roof, although an un- 
bidden guest and an enemy. 

Dolly. (yAt her wheel. ^ But such an enemy ! I could easier 
suflfer one come out from England, who thinks he does but 
his duty to his King in obeying the orders of the tyrant. 
But one of these Tories ! Who desert the cause of Liberty 
and kiss the hand that oppresses them, who betray their 
brethren and do in secret work which can not bear the light ! 
Mother, do not ask my complaisance for such a man ! 

Mrs. Underwood. You are too severe, Dolly. May it not be 
that some have an honest difference of opinion, and truly 
believe that England is within her rights ? 

Dolly. Mother ! You would not excuse a traitor to our 
country ? 

Mrs. Underwood. Surely not, my daughter, but I would 
rather believe in honest mistakes than that all on the other 
side is black wickedness. 
{Enter Tempy L.) 

Tempy. Please, Mistress, Mr. Farquhar presents his most re- 
spectful compliments and says would the ladies be pleased 
to accord him the honor of an audience? 

Dolly. {Rising.) Tell him, 7io ! 

Mrs. Underwood. Dolly! {To Tempy.) Tell Mr. Farqu- 
har 

Dolly. {Kneeling by her niother' s side.) But, dear Mother, I 
must tell you — I did not tell you before lest you should be 
anxious — Francis is coming across the river to see me to- 
night. He knows not of our guest nor have I had oppor- 
tunity to warn him. 

Mrs. Underwood. {Much agitated.) Oh Dolly, how impru- 
dent ! He must not enter the house now— what shall we do ? 



13 

Tempy. Never fear, Mistress — Mr. Wynn and Mistress Kitty 
are clown by the hedge where he will see them soon as ever 
he leaves the wood. {Aside.) I doubt me much whether 
they see him until he speaks. 

Dolly. Yes, Mother, Kitty and Henry are watching now, and 
soon I will go out and wait for him. 'Tis not likely he 
will come before dark. {RisiJig.) 

Mrs. Underwood. Where are the man's servants ? 

Tempy. They have put up the horses and are safe in the 
kitchen. They will not stir while they have something to 
eat and drink. 

Dolly. And their master is safe in his room. 

Tempy. Not so safe, Mistress Dolly. I heard him say that if 
the ladies were indisposed to receive him he would take a 
stroll about the place. 

Dolly. That must not be — he must be kept within doors at 
any cost. Tempy, do you watch for Captain Pennington, 
and keep him hid until you can let me know. I must stay 
here with my mother and receive this most intrusive guest. 

Mrs. Underwood. Yes, surely, we must see him. Temper- 
ance, say to Mr. Farquhar that the ladies will be pleased 
to receive him. ( Tempy curtsies and goes out ly.) 

DoLLY'. {Going to the window.) Pleased to receive him, when 
Francis is on the way and I should be waiting for him ! 

{Enter Fa7'qithar L,. zvith a loiv bow to each. The ladies 
rise and curtsy.) 

Farquhar. 'Tis most charitable in you, ladies, to take com- 
passion on me in my exile and allow me to bask in the sun- 
shine of your smiles. 

{Dolly turns away from him.) 

Mrs. Underwood. {Gravely.) We should scarcely have 
chosen this time, sir, to receive guests, but since your 
business brings you here we have no choice — nor perhaps 
have you. 

Farquhar. {Seating himself at his ease.) You appreciate the 
situation, madam. Certainly it is not inclination on my 
part that induces me to leave the city just now, when soci- 
ety is recovering the tone which we have sadly missed 
during the late unpleasant — ahem — circumstances. 

Dolly. {Quickly.) Truly 'twas no time for routs and dances 
when the American army held the city. 

Farquhar. {Twning to her.) Truly, as you say. Mistress 
Dolly, the persons who have just been forced to leave the 
city were scarcely of a nature to appreciate the amenities of 
polite society. 

Dolly. They had other and more serious business in assem- 
bling there, sir. 



14 

Farquhar. Pardon me, ladies. 'Tis contrary to all the laws 
of gallantry that I should allude to public matters. To a 
young lady the serious affairs of life should be the choosing 
of a gown, the vows of a lover, the latest tea-drinking, the 
next dance, the talked-of-water-party, the fashions from 
over-seas. Affairs of State, War, Politics ! They do not 
exist for you, fair Mistress. 

{Dolly rises hastily and seems abozit to speak.) 

Mrs. Underwood. {Hastily.) I agree with you, sir, that such 
questions are unsuited to our conversation. Dolly, I will 
have my scarf. {Dolly gets the scarf ivhile Mrs. Under- 
wood goes on speaking.) Do you not find the country about 
here very pretty, Mr. Farquhar? The view from the hill 
is much admired. 

Farquhar. To confess the truth, madam, I have but little 
taste for the beauties of Nature — that is to say, of landscape, 
though I flatter myself that I have due appreciation of 
beauties of another kind. {Bows to Dolly.) Should you 
ask my opinion of a handsome gown, or a new style of 
dressing the hair, or of a well-turned song, 'twould be of 
some value. 

Mr.s. Underwood. You have a taste for music ? 

Farquhar. Why, not exactly for music, but for her sister 
muse, poetry. I have had the honor of celebrating many 
of our reigning beauties in my poor verse. May I hope ? 
{Looking toward Dolly.) 

Mrs. Underwood. {Gravely.) You will see no one here, Mr. 
Farquhar, to whom your muse would be aught but unwel- 
come. {Farquhar bows aiid shrngs his shoulders.) 

DoivLY. Have all the gentlemen of New York your exquisite 
taste in these important matters of ladies' dress, and poetic 
compliment ? 

Farquhar. I am sorry to say, Mistress Dolly, that there are 
many gentlemen in society whose ignorance of the refine- 
ments of life is truly distressing. Even among those who 
pretend an acquaintance with these gentle arts there are 
not many whose taste and knowledge equal that of — of 

Dolly. Of the accomplished Mr. Farquhar. 

Farquhar. {Bozving.) If it pleases you to say so, fair mis- 
tress, I will do violence to my modesty and accept the com- 
pliment. 

Dolly. Truly, sir, I think your modesty is sufiiciently pro- 
tected by your other qualities to withstand many such 
blows. 

Mrs. Underwood. {Rising.) My daughter, will you attend 
me to my room — I feel quite unwell. {Dolly supports her.) 
Mr. Farquhar will excuse us. May I beg, sir, that you 
will remain in this apartment, and consider it as your own ? 



15 

Farouhar. You are most kind, madam, and I deplore your 
indisposition. (Bo7us as they ^o out R.) (Atone.) In- 
disposition, truly, but perhaps more of temper than of 
body. 'Tis curious how these women carry on the war 
in their very drawinj^ rooms, and repel a pretty speech 
as if 'twere a barbed arrow ! (Seats himself at his 
ease by the fire and takes snuff.) Were I not under a 
promise to make all due haste in this matter I would 
gladly linger in this idyllic spot. Faith ! I have 
seldom eaten a better supper than that cooked to 
perfection and served with such a bad grace by yon ill- 
favored woman. True, my hostess is not disposed to look 
upon me with any favor, but I could easily dispense with 
her society could I have that of the charming Dolly. My 
secretary has evidently found favor in the eyes of Mistress 
Kitty and that right soon. Ah ' This coj-ness is but to 
enhance their value and well the pretty creatures know it ! 
If svich as he can conquer so rapidly how much more / 
(risiiig and looking in mirror.) 'Tis not often these pretty 
rustics have the attentions of a town gallant, and I doubt 
not that if I (!;hoseto give myself the trouble Mistress Dolly 
would appreciate me. One evening is but little time to 
fascinate a fair one, but I have done it in less. (Te?7ipy 
enters B., carryiiig teapot, etc., on tray ; Farquhar lifts lid 
of teapot. ) 

Farquhar. Aha! The rebels are drinking tea again ! What 
becomes of all those fine patriotic sentiments with which 
you vowed abstinence from the cheering cup, and which 
converted the harbor of Boston into an extremely disagree- 
able dish of tea? Truly, the jewel consistency abides not 
in this land ! 

Tempy. (Putti)ig dozvn tray and facing Farquhar zvith arms 
akimbo.) Tea it may be and tea it is, Master Farquhar, 
but none of your English stuff which King George would 
cram down our throats whether we liked it or not ! This 
is good honest Holland tea, imported direct for my Mistress, 
and we have had the chest in the house these many months. 
Think you we are such poor-spirited folk as would live 
from hand to mouth and would go humbl}^ to the King's 
agent with a few shillings in our hands, and say, " If you 
please, kind sir, would you be so very kind and conde- 
scending as to let us have a small packet of the King's 
most, excellent tea, for which we will gladly pay three 
times what it is worth?" No, sir! We drink Holland 
tea, and when we can not get that we drink good American 
sassafras leaves. Your English tea would stick in the 
throat of a true patriot ! (Picks up tray and goes off R. 
leaving Farquhar in speechless surprise at het violence.) 



16 

Farquhar. {^Recovering.') A most extraordinary female ! Let 
the rebels but place a brigade of such in the forefront of 
their Army and our men will run from their tongues. 
Liberty ! Is this their boasted liberty ! To drink a vile 
concoction of weeds, and to be forced to entertain an enemy 
in their house ? To suffer from cold and hunger in their 
camps, and to ruin the prosperity of their cities? And for 
what ? The phantom Liberty ! Pooh ! Let them but sub- 
mit to us and we will give them liberty — -liberty to eat and 
drink and be merry, liberty to live well and enjoy life, and 
what is life worth without pleasure? But to this end we 
must beat some sense into their heads, and my share in this 
not over-pleasant task will take me from hence betimes in 
the morning. Let me see (/cW/Vz^ m his pockets), where is 
my sketch map ? I must look over my journey for to-mor- 
row. ( While he is talkijig Penimigton opens door at back 
cautiojisly and peeps in, shuts it hastily on seeing Farqu- 
har.) I have it not, it must be in my riding-coat. I 
omitted to remove my papers when changing my coat in 
fair Mistress Dolly's honor. To what carelessness in busi- 
ness will not the desire to please the fair sex lead us. 
{Goes out L.) 

{Penningto7i peeps in again and seeing the room empty 
comes in cautiously B. Tempy ejiters R. singing, carryijig 
dish of apples ; seeing Pennington drops apples and opens 
her mouth to so cam ; he catches her and puts his hand on 
her mouth.) 

Pennington. Now, Tempy, don't yell, there's a good soul. 
Here ! sit down and collect your ideas. {Lets her doivn i7ito 
a chair and picks up apples.) What is that strange man 
doing in the house ? 

Tempy. {Gasping.) La ! Mr. Francis, you gave me such a 
turn ! We did not expect you for hours yet, and I was to 
watch at the gate to warn you off. 

Pennington. Warn me off! Where is the danger? The 
neighborhood seems quiet enough. 

Tempy. Why, there's one of the King's agents in the house, 
with two impudent servants and Mr. Henry Wynn dis- 
guised as a .sekertary or something. 

Pennington. What is he doing here ? 

Tempy. They say he is travelling on business with Mr. 
Henry pretending to act as guide, but I think Mr. Henry 
came here to make love to Mistress Kitty Forsyth, and this 
fine Mr. Farquhar would like to do the same to Mistress 
Dolly. 



17 

Pennington This Tory villain make love to Dolly ! I think 
it quite time I came. {Enter Dolly R.) My dearest Dolly ! 
{Rushing tozvards her, she runs to windoiv and drams cur- 
• tainS, You do not seem glad to see me. Tempy tells me 
I have come too soon. 
D0LI.Y {Looking abo7d in alarm.) Oh, Francis ! I am in 
fear for you ! Has not Tempy told you of our enforced 
guest ? 
Pennington. Yes ! And 1 have also seen him. 
Dolly. {In great alarm.) Seen him ? When? 
Pennington. Just now, seated in this room, when I looked 

in to see if the coast was clear. 
Dolly. He did not see you ? 
Pennington. No. 
Dolly. Then we must hide you before he returns, iempy, 

think of some safe place. , 

Pennington. And I am to be stowed away m some closet 
while that lace-rufaed dandy makes love to you ! Tempy 
has told me of his pretensions. , t«; 

Dolly. He leaves in the morning, and it will not be ditlicult 
to avoid him these few hours. Surely, Francis, you know 
that I find his attentions most distasteful. 
Pennington. I know I can trust you, my Dolly ! But I 
would I could protect you also. 

( The door opens and Farquhar enters slowly L. reading 
papers which he carries in his hand. T, mpy draws Pen- 
7iington back and Dolly advances to meet Farquhar with as- 
stimed vivacity.) 
Dolly. Your business must be of a most engrossing nature, 
Mr. Farquhar, and accords not with your promise that 
War and Politics should be buried in oblivion. 
Farquhar. {Bows.) Fair Mistress Dolly, that promise was 
conditional upon your presence. Removed from the sun- 
shine of your eyes I must beguile the tedium of my exile 
as best I may. {Puts up papers.) 
Dolly. {Sitting in front of stage.) Your affairs are doubtless 

of great importance, sir? 
Farquhar. {Bowing. > No affair is of more importance than 
that of finding favor in the eyes of a lady. {Takes a seat 
near Dolly.) ^ {Tempy is trying to hide Pennington in im- 
possible places. ) 
Dolly. After the gaieties of the city we must appear very 

rustic to a gentlemen of your fashion ? 
Farouhar. a certain amount of rusticity, madam, like the 
• bloom upon the peach, but enhances its beauty, I assure 
you. 



18 

( Tempy sneezes. Farquhar starts and Dolly drops her 

fan. While he is picki?ig it up she rises and motiofis to 

Tempy to take Pennington out. Farquhar returns the fan 

with a low boza, and as they are about to sit doiun again 

Pennington stumbles over a stool. Farq2ihar half turn .-.) 

Dolly. {Hurriedly.) Tell me, Mr. Farquhar, are the ladies 
of New York really fairer than any in the country ? 

Farquhar. {Bowiiig.) Most charming Dolly, I assure you 
the beauty I see before me far outshines any it has been 
my good fortune to behold. 

Dolly. {Casting down her eyes.) Ah ! sir, I fear me these 
are the insincere flatteries of town society, of which I have 
heard. 

Farquhar. It may be the nature of some to flatter, but 
believe me, I am all sincerity. 

{Kisses her hand, Pen7iington goes down stage and makes 
threateni?ig gestures. Dolly motions him to go atid Tempy 
pushes him tozvard door .) 

Farquhar. I grieve to see. Mistress Dolly, that your mother 
has not that liberality of spirit which is so desirable in your 
sex. She goes so far as to call me an enemy. 
{Pennirtg ton goes out B.) 

Dolly. {Risi^ig abruptly as Pennington disappears.) And 
she is quite right, sir, you are our enemy ! 

{She turns to go out, but seeing Pennington'' s hat on the 
sofa, she hesitates and fnally sits, covering it zvith her 
skirt. Farquhar follozvs her.) 

Farquhar. Have I said aught to offend you. Mistress Dolly ? 
Methinks my sincere compliments to yourself might out- 
weigh any slight criticism of your mother. 

Dolly. {Smiling.) I pray you pardon my heat, Mr. Farqu- 
har. 'Twas but a protest of my conscience upon my finding 
the conversation of an enemy of my country so agreeable. 
{Rises a?id extends her hand. As Farquhar bends to kiss it 
she tosses Pennington'' s hat over his head to Tempy, who hides 
it under her apron and goes out B. Farquhar tries to kiss 
Dolly, zi'ho boxes his ears and runs out of room B.) 

Farquhar. {Alone.) The women in this wretched land are 
as variable as the climate ! What means this little rebel ? 
All complaisance one moment and all thorns the next ! 'Tis 
well there are no witnesses to my discomfiture, as I should 
be the jest of the town. {Goes out L. Henry B. and Kitty 
R. come in different doors and run against each other.) 

Henry. Whither away in such haste, Kitty ? 

Kitty. I was trying to find you. 

Henry. Find me again in the same way, will you not ? {Holds 
out his arms.) 



19 

Kitty. Please talk seriously for iu^e minutes. Francis 

Pennington is in the house ! 
Henry. Francis is here now ! Where is he ? 
Kitty. Tempy is hiding him somewhere. I heard her trying 

to persuade him to get into the large soap kettle in the shed. 
Henry. And he naturally objected. I should in his place. 
Kitty. We want you to watch Mr. Farquhar. Make some 

pretense of business with him so that we can get Mr. 

Pennington safely away. 
Henry. I will go to his room at once. But first — the five 

minutes is up, and do you not think I deserve some reward 

if I sit the evening with him instead of with you ? 

{Kitty evidently thinks he does, but before she ca?i give him 

the reivatd Farquhar enters L,. in great excitement.^ 
Farquhar. Make haste, Mr. Brown, order the horses and ■ 

make ready your luggage ! One of the men reports that 

he has seen a regiment of Continentals coming through the 

wood. 
Henry. {Affecting fear.) Can it be a surprise ? Have they 

heard of your despatches ? 
Farquhar. It is possible ; but even if they are not in pursuit 

of us we cannot afford to be questioned now. 
Henry. Assuredly not, with those compromising despatches 

in your possession. Why ! They would hang us, without 

trial, to the nearest tree ! 
Farquhar. {hi an agony of fear.) Make haste, make haste, 

Mr. Brown ! We must depart at once. {Riishes out of 

room L. , Henry follows, laughing. Kitty goes to windozv. 

Mrs. Underzuood and Dolly enter ^.^ 
Kitty. Have you heard the news? Mr. Farcjuhar's man saw 

a regiment of our men in the woods ! 
Mrs. Underwood. {Sitting.') Impossible ! 
Dolly. There are no troops this .side the river — he must have 

seen a detachment of the British 
Kitty. No, indeed. He said a regiment of Continentals. 

Mr. Farquhar just came running in here in great fright and 

told Henry that they must be off at once, in fear of their 

lives. 
Mrs. Underwood. May we be spared from a battle here ! 

{Noise outside. The girls rush to the windozv. ) 
Kitty. There is a great commotion in the stable yard^there 

are the men bringing the horses to the door. 
Dolly. Henry is holding a lantern — Mr. Farquhar is mount- 
ing — there go the servants in a hurry, the cowards ! Why, 

Henry is coming back ! 



20 

Kitty. There is his horse, he will mount in a moment — no, 
he is sending it away. Oh, there the}^ go, galloping down 
the hill and without Henry — Oh, joy ! 
Mrs. Underwood. Have they really gone ? 
Dolly. Yes, Mother, all but Henry. We can see them in the 

moonlight at the foot of the hill. 
Mrs. Underwood. Truly a blessed relief ! Dolly, it will be 
safe to call Francis from his concealment now. i^D oily goes 
out?) Perhaps he can explain the unexpected presence of 
this body of our troops. {^Enter Hen 7'y \^. laughing?) Is 
all safe, Mr. Wynn ? Have you sent them away and can 
you remain with us? 
Henry. All is well, Madam. They are so thoroughly alarmed 
that they will not draw rein these ten miles. Mr. Farquhar 
would not even wait for his faithful secretary. When I 
said I had forgot something of importance — " Then you 
must overtake us," said he, " and if you linger 'twill be at 
your own risk." 

( Takes Kitty' s hand?) 
Mrs. Underwood. But what is this regiment of our troops. 

Is it some secret expedition ? 
Henry. 'Tis indeed a secret expedition. Madam, but one 
scarce intended to have such a terrible effect as Mr. Farquhar 
seemed to fear. 

{Enter Dolly, Penniiigton and Tempy B.) 
Mrs Underwood. {Holding ont he)' hand to Pennington?) 
Ah, Francis, at last we are relieved of our anxiety on your 
account. 
Henry. (Shaking hands.) And this is the regiment of Conti- 
nentals that put our gallant enemy to flight ! 
Mrs. Underwood. {Amid exclamations fj-om all?) And is 

there no regiment ? 
Henry. Not a corporal's guard ! One of the servants saw 

Francis coming through the wood, and fear did the rest. 
Pennington. {Laughing?) I little thought my first service 
in this campaign would be to rout a detachment of the 
enemy single-handed. 
Tempy. {Snatclmig off her cap and zvaving it.) Hurrah for 
I^exington and Bunker Hill ! One Continental is worth a 
regiment of Britishers any day ! 
Henry, Kitty, Mrs. Underwood, TemPy, Dolly, Pennington. 
CURTAIN. 



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